Today, I’m sharing about Motherhood on Mother’s Day. Who am I? I am a mother to 5 beautiful boys and feel like the luckiest woman in the world! My boys are truly amazing and even though I won the lottery with all of their fun, distinct personalities, there are moments that are hard too. We don’t always talk about or recognize the hard moments and celebrate them for the growth they give us. I wouldn’t trade any of those moments for the world and feel I was born to be a mother. 

Take time for yourself today, Momma.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you beautiful women! If you are a mother of a baby, child, adult, or fur baby it is your special day! Celebrate yourself and allow other people to celebrate you. Celebrating Motherhood on Mother’s Day is sweet and is known for the flowers, gifts, cards and other sentiments but not always known for the feelings that mothers may have about Motherhood and what this day could mean to them. It can involve tears, both happy and sad. It can involve hugs sometimes for the last time without even knowing it. Sometimes it can involve the biggest feelings of joy and also sorrow. 

The twins are now in their teens but I remember how challenging their first year was. It wasn’t just because there were two — although that didn’t help — but that they were premature and under 3 pounds. Anyone who has had a baby premature or even in the NICU can attest to how taxing it can be on you physically and emotionally.

Most people have a baby and can go home but it is hard to leave your baby in the hospital and go home yourself without them. Also there are so many other challenges that go with it like pumping milk all hours for their best nutrition, managing visiting hours, and seeing your baby with all of those tubes and doctors and nurses poking and prodding them. Those babies truly are rock stars — as well as the doctors and nurses that care for them! If you are one of them, thank you for the bottom of my heart for what you do. 

Sometimes Motherhood just gets hard. Let’s get real.

I’m sure many of you have had babies that just wouldn’t sleep and not just for the first month or two. Sleep deprivation is a real thing. After caring for our babies all day which is physically exhausting in the first year, we really need our sleep. Luckily we all get through it but it can really take its toll on our wellness and health. I know we joke about “Mommy Brain,” but it is truly so easy to forget your own name when you are not getting sleep for an extended period of time.

Two of my boys were just challenging sleepers (including naps) and I’d always have to hold them to get them to sleep. Then you worry about their safety if you fall asleep, ah, mom guilt. I think I would catch myself later still rocking back in forth in line in a store because I was so used to doing it with my babies at home. I did try to remind myself always how lucky I was to have such healthy babies and to enjoy it but there were some tough moments to navigate through of pure exhaustion. It showed me how strong I really am.

I’m getting to the good stuff. I promise.

I’d love to address one thing that we tend to shove under the rug, postpartem depression. So many mothers experience this and myself included. It really was bad for my youngest son, but may have had signs of it from my fourth son too. Everything just feels hard and you just struggle for air. I can’t speak for everyone but I never felt that bad about myself and life before ever. I just went through the motions of life for awhile not truly feeling anything.

Maybe some people recognize it and treat it and I am so happy to hear this, but for me I didn’t know what was wrong. There just wasn’t any happiness to find for awhile. I felt I had to fake it all and projected a lot of my depression outwards. Sadly because of this, I didn’t bond with my youngest right away like I did with my other children.

Be ready. Here comes the mom guilt.

The mom guilt was back heavy. I couldn’t find the joy of having a new baby every day like I did with the others —queue more mom guilt as you cannnot help it and want to so bad. My hair fell out for 2 months lightly with my first pregnancies but with that fourth one, 8 months and heavy. That bald patch in the back really didn’t help my depression. You would think that would be a sign something was wrong but I still just didn’t see it.

Thankfully, there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I am better than ever before today. I learned a lot about myself and life in that healing as well as what are my priorities in my life. Sometimes we have to take steps back in life to launch forward to a new version of ourselves and that is what I did. I have so much gratitude for life now, my beautiful boys and being a mother. I know it is the most rewarding and most challenging job I’ll ever have. My youngest still to this day loves to challenge me on a daily basis but also brings me SO much joy and unconditional love as do all of my lovely children.

So yes, I’m putting it out there.

Motherhood isn’t always easy. It isn’t always smiles and giggles, hugs and kisses and endless fun! It can be late nights cleaning up vomit, no sleep for days, screaming toddlers when you are just trying to get your groceries, a fearful trip to the ER, constant fights about bedtime or with siblings, and so many others that don’t make it easy.

However it can also be kisses first thing in the morning to wake up to, tickle fights, squeals and giggles of delight, your little one telling you “I love you mama” and you know they mean it so intensely, all of the firsts that make them so so proud, running up to you when you walk in the door and feeling like the most important person in the world, and hand made cards and gifts for your birthday or Mother’s Day. Celebrating Motherhood on Mother’s Day can be creative and amazing!

There are so many beautiful things to celebrate about being a mother when they are little or not so little anymore. Being a mother really teaches us about love, true unconditional love. Being with my children is the biggest blessing to me and they make my life so much brighter. 

My heart goes out to all of you mothers out there!

I send you all of the love in the world for who you are and what you do. You are loved and appreciated. I want you to know that you are so valued and important to your beautiful children. You make a difference in the world just being you and raising your children. And you are special and a gift to the world! 

Sending love to all of you with losses.

If you have suffered a miscarriage, loss of a child, loss of a mother or loss of a close grandmother I send you the biggest hugs and my deepest sympathy. This day can be hard for some. I hope you do take some time today to honor the person you lost and keep them close in your thoughts. It can be thoughts of who you think they would be today or memories of the past that you treasure most with them. They are angels watching over you and are always with you. Keep them close to your heart.

I lost my mother in 2017 from ovarian cancer. It is sad that she never met my youngest son and that my 4th son doesn’t have memories of her as he was too young when she passed. My oldest children had a beautiful relationship with her and some really beautiful memories to hold on to. I will honor both her and myself tomorrow on our special day. That is why I am so passionate about my job as a photographer. I document these special moments in time. I am able to preserve those memories of those that just aren’t with us anymore or other life changes.

I’m so grateful that I have so many photos of my mom and especially with my kids. These photos I will cherish forever. Was my mom perfect? No. Did she always do the best that she could? I believe so. That is the kind of mother I continue to strive to be daily — one that isn’t perfect but always strive to do and be my best. I want my children to believe in love, believe that mistakes lead to growth, believe in helping others, believe in themselves, and believe that the world is good. Happy Mother’s Day!

Share your story of Motherhood on Mother’s Day.

I’d love to hear what Motherhood means to you or a special story from your journey of Motherhood. Send me an email or comment on Facebook.

If you want to make special memories with your children, join me at the studio on May 27th for our Mommy and Me Mini Session event. You can find the details on the website HERE. The backdrop is shown on the first photo at the top of this blogpost.